So drunk its hurt
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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