I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
