The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
