so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
