sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I supernannyed him into submission
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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