Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
