Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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