Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
