dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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