I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
