maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
