You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
