It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
