dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
