I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
