Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
