Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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