we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
