She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
