It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Farmville is her only friend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
