maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
