Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
