I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I deserve this hangover.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
