Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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