hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
