Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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