I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
