Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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