Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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