So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We need to rekindle our bromance
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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