Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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