whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
