And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize