apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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