He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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