we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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