just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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