I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
