I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
