You're earring is so big in my mouth
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
