I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
