he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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