I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
as a side note pls kill me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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