I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
