Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
