Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
