My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
