Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
