u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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