It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
