Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
