if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
