He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
