i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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