can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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