So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
