He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
