I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
