Duck Duck Cougar?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize