wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize