Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
